Ever feel like YOU want to do something that others may not support or understand?
I GET IT!
And oooh goodness, it’s confession time…
One of my biggest struggles has been finding the courage to CHOOSE (and then follow) an original path that I truly enjoy.
It’s something that I still wrestle with from time to time.
There were even times in my teens and early twenties that I would say that I was a bit of an “Approval Addict.” YIKES.
It’s definitely something I have to be aware of not slipping back into. When making big life decisions, I ask myself:
“Is this what I REALLY want?”
“Is this for appearance’s sake?”
“Is this what I think someone ELSE wants or expects from me?”
I do a SOUL CHECK.
I ask… “Am I listening to my TRUTH… or am I being influenced in a way that doesn’t serve me?”
I still care what people think and say (because…HELLO! I’m human.)… but I don’t let it rule my decisions or STOP me anymore.
Ever pass up an opportunity or squelch a desire because you didn’t want to be judged by others?
I have, and so has every client I’ve ever worked with.
Many have stayed in careers they didn’t want anymore and I know a few who have passed up a GREAT guy that their friends or family may not have approved of.
Lots of us have sat on the sidelines in life instead of dancing (literally and metaphorically!)
When we are squelching our desires, we are unknowingly operating on these principles:
“If I’m invisible no one can dislike me.”
“No one will judge me or disapprove of me if I’m not ruffling any feathers.”
“It’s safer to do what people expect me to do.”
And all of those beliefs are true in a way… but living that way will CRIPPLE your spirit.
Staying “super safe” about your decisions leads to feeling STUCK and stunted.
I’ve helped many clients (and myself!) get into agreement with a big fat universal truth that’s pretty FREEING—
Not everyone is going to like everything you do. And that means you’re doing something RIGHT! You can’t live out loud and be truly alive and not ruffle any feathers!!
Here are some ways you can start owning your unique ORIGINAL path NOW:
1. Make a list of things you’ve been holding back on pursuing because you think others wont “get it” or you won’t be good at it… Maybe a new type of dancing…like pole dancing or Salsa? Painting? Blogging? Jewelry making? Singing at an open mic night? Going out flirting? Improv class? Guitar lessons? Writing the first page of a book you want to write? Meditation classes? Some sort of new spiritual pursuit?
2. Look at the list—and pick the thing that is easiest to execute. YEP—the easiest, simplest one… We’ll START there and then break it down further… into the tiniest, most basic baby steps and then begin. Do the research on it, and then SCHEDULE IT.
3. Here is your mantra of the week…(Said in your head–with big sassy smile!)
“I love you, I respect you, and I don’t give a f*** what you think of me!!!”
The more you are being YOU—the untamed, BIG version of you… the more other people will be inspired to do the same. Consequently, you will be more LIKED, loved and respected by like-minded people. (Notice!) A few people won’t like it… but, that’s a GOOD thing. It’s an indicator that you are FABULOUS.
Living big takes courage… and you’ve definitely got what it takes.
Your Love and Happiness Advocate,
We all have a sad day now and then.
It’s so gosh dern easy to be positive on days when things are going our way.
When the birds are chirping and strangers are smiling at you for no reason and work is great, OR you just had an awesome success it’s so EASY to be happy.
But what about those sad days?? How do you “love your life” or just feel more hopeful or normal on THOSE days.
Here are my best three ways to feel more hopeful and more peaceful when things are feeling ROUGH.
GET INTO AGREEMENT WITH YOUR MOOD!
This means if you are sad, or mad, or stuck or frustrated… tell yourself that the way you are feeling is perfect and you are perfectly entitled to your mood. You can dress and act accordingly—as long as you aren’t taking it out on others, go for it! Don’t fight the feeling….go with it, but give yourself a time limit. I am going to be REALLY pissed/mopey/sad etc for an hour…or for two… and then when the time is up, make a choice to focus on something else. You can even set an alarm or timer to go off to signify when your stewing time is done.
Write, write, write… vent, vent, vent.
Something I learned from a mentor and colleague of mine (Brooke Emery) is to do a writing exercise in the following structure…
Dear_______(God?The Universe? Your grandmother? Lady Gaga?:)
Pick a source that you feel like is the most wise or powerful that you can choose.
Here is what I’m excited about:
This is what I need help with:
This is how I want to feel:
Then sign it with “From the limited perspective that I can now see, this is what I think I want,
Take ONE baby step! Towards anything. It is impossible to be engaged in something an overwhelmed at the same time. Taking just one small bit of action will be a huge step when you’re totally not in the mood.
-Fifteen minute walk
-One tiny piece of action towards a goal of yours—make that phone call you’ve been putting off, or write the email.
Do ONE small, manageable step.
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These three steps should get you on the path towards feeling a little LIGHTER…
MOST IMPORTANTLY… Be GENTLE with yourself.
I cannot say this enough, so I will say it again. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.
Be kind with the way you speak to yourself, allow yourself more breaks, and give yourself permission to go a little more slowly and softly with your day.
We all have sad days, so please don’t ever make yourself feel WRONG for having one.
Ever had things fall apart with a guy you REALLY like?
I’ve had a LOT of clients this week coming up against the same issue…
They meet a guy… and he’s GREAT! He’s witty, charming, successful, attractive…
He may be JUST what they’ve been looking for.
And you know what they do? The same thing every human being does!
These women get nervous.
And then you know what they start doing? Acting weird!
The amazingly funny, dynamic, interesting woman that I know and adore leaves the building and someone else is on that date with him.
Nervous Nelly or just plain Weird Wanda takes over their body and their date!
They may clam up… or WORSE they may start trying to prove their worth or their value.
We’ve all done it … YIKES. The answer?
STOP PUTTING THE GUYS YOU ACTUALLY “LIKE” ON A PEDESTAL!!
They don’t want to be up there. It’s not fun. It makes them feel like something is OFF.
It’s wonderful to be excited… but he’s just a guy! He’s a dude, a human being that may LOOK and SOUND great… but that you don’t actually know yet.
A more appropriate time to get really excited is after you see how he handles when you’re sick or you’re having a bad day (in about six weeks or so).
If he’s still a rock star then, that may be some cause for excitement!
And what about what HE needs?
He wants you to be “real” with him, but still feel like he has more to learn and figure out.
He wants to be able to DISCOVER you over time.
He wants to have FUN. He won’t tell you this, but if he’s a good one, he doesn’t want the whole kit and caboodle handed up on a silver platter right away.
He wants to discover you over time. LET HIM.
You can’t do that if you’re busy proving yourself.
This isn’t about playing games… this about not acting out of URGENCY because you’re excited.
Many times we rush things and start acting unnatural when the excitement is bubbling and the chemistry is flowing.
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Here’s my challenge for you this week:
I want you to start a little research project.
I want you to start researching how you act around men that you like to be around but that you’re NOT attracted to… notice how you speak to them, how you (hopefully!) laugh with abandon and tease them and enjoy yourself. Notice how you act when there’s “nothing to lose.”
Get to know yourself this way
so that (you guessed it!) … you can duplicate that same authenticity when it really “counts.”
YOU are MUCH more “fall-in-loveable” than Weird Wanda.
Make me proud…and let me know how it goes!
Allow me to (re) introduce myself, and how I can be of service.
I am a DREAM Advocate and LOVE pioneer.
Or you can call me a Love and Life Coach if you like … It’s the same thing.
I work with women from all different backgrounds and industries.
I have coached celebrities (some of the most famous women in the world) through closely watched relationships. I have also worked with CEOs, housewives, and female entrepreneurs.
Our problems and our desires boil down to being the same
I coach women through break ups and divorces and getting over disappointments from the past…
I help women BE more efficient and effective to get better RESULTS… all while having more fun.
I help women (who are often a lot like me!) get out of our own way.
That’s what I have BEEN doing….And it’s EXPANDING.
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Recently I have decided that I want to give you more; A LOT more.
I’ve decided to study the nuts and bolts of what creates REAL LASTING HAPPINESS.
Over the last year I have been deeply studying metaphysics, spirituality and Positive Psychology.
THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SHARE!
I’m excited to have my hot little hands on you more frequently!
AND (confession!!) I am not the brightest bulb when it comes to all things technological, including (especially!!) social media, websites, apps etc….
But I have been learning and stretching myself so that I can share more with you and be in touch more frequently… YES!
I have had so many requests for this, and now it is GAME ON.
**I have been making A FUN NEW WEBSITE for you that will have articles and blog posts from me… about creating BIG LOVE and LASTING HAPPINESS.**
I will be creating videos to lift you up, lighten your spirits and help you stay on track with what you want to create.
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HERE is your mission of the week:
Fill your tanks!!
If you are barely surviving through the day and NOT taking care of yourself,
I guarantee that the energy you are exuding is WAY less than magnetic.
You need to be WELL cared for- and that starts with you believing that it’s a non-negotiable for your life.
Whether you’re stressed, over tired or stuck in a rut….
The easiest way back to stability, sanity and a happy path is SELF CARE.
First, come the absolute basics- you must be getting enough sleep, drinking LOTS of water and moving your gorgeous body a few times a week.
Already doing that? I love that about you!
Bump it up a notch- are you writing in a journal? One of the best ways to feel more “clear” throughout the day is to get those worries out of your head and down on a page.
Short on time?
I recommend doing a “free write” for 3-5 minutes… (Just pour out whatever is on your mind with no structure) and then taking 1 minute to set a few specific positive intentions for the day.
I am EMPHATIC about the importance of treating yourself well.
Those basics have to be in place for you to be attracting the right kind of men, and the best possible treatment from everyone around you.